I am about to go into week 4 of school, and of course this is when it all starts. Up till now, I can kinda just mosey through class, skim readings and basically bs my way through any quiz or homework. The buck always stops when you get about a month in and realize that you have deadlines, papers, presentations and a whole lote more coming up quickly. Ihave a presentation for my International law class coming up and am seriously not wanting to do it. I am not into law (although this class is interesting) and really don't know all the jargon well enough to bs. So this weekend I will be bearing down and getting ready to take school seriously!

I was reading some friends blogs today, and made a few comments about posts and videos that were set up. I realized that I would love to one day write a book or do seminars for people on Foreign Policy. I think that many people have no idea how it works out for the US and why it is important if we let Georgia join NATO. It is something I am thinking about. I would want it to be simple though. No excesss words or jargon that no one understands. Just simplicity about how the government works and what cause/effects can happen. Just a thought on my mind right now.

So today, I was walking around campus....as I usually do to get to class...and seriously all of the sudden an inferno took me over.  After my russian class was over I decided to walk to the apt and chilll till I was not blazing hot! I quickly put on a tank and shorts and decided to walk and get lunch. One thing about the San Fran, while it is only a couple months that the southwest side gets sun, when we do it is ridiculous. I have hesitated to bring this up to any family and friends as they all live in the tropics of southern cali and would laugh in my face, but hear me out. The difference is in so cal it is hot everywhere....wether in the shade or sun, you are always hot. So there is only one dress attire. In san fran, it can be cold in the shade and hot in the sun. So you may go to a shady area and think I might want to wear pants, or I may need a sweater. Then you begin to walk and enter a sunny spot and you are on fire. sweating, because here it is up hill both ways of your walk.  Also the weather can change in a heart beat. It can be sunny and then like the plagues of Egypt, the fog rolls over and you are sol if you were wearing something for hot weather. I miss a consistentcy, even if it was a consistent miserable. Actually I just can't wait till it is cold all the time and a jacket is always a good call.

Ok, so I quit my job, and moved to San Francisco to go to Grad school. It was a long time coming and seriously is a great move for me....both personally and professionally. So I have been up in SF for a few weeks now and have been looking for a job, because as Kim knows, leaving me to my own thoughts is not a good idea. I end up rethinking things, doubting, wondering what in the world I did. The bottom line is that the move was a great thing, so my thoughts are not getting the best of me there, but why is it that I never realize what I want until it (he) is out of reach???? Kim will laugh at this, as she knows I am the biggest advocate to help others out with their love lives, but am lowsy (sp?) when it comes to my own. I don't know when I will learn my lesson, or how many people (men) I have to let slip through my fingers before I wake up? For now, I am going to do what any christian girl can......focus on my relationship with God and hit the gym. Work out so I am too tired to think about it, and also get to know God more so that I realize how much work I have to do before I am ready for someone else. That is it for now. I will keep updating on this SF life.

I got back from our Kazakhstan trip about a week ago, but have been back in Arkansas for the fourht of July, so really this is my first day back at work. I had so much fun in Kazakhstan. Everyone on the team was amazing and really they all made me laugh so hard, that i cannot even retell some stories as no one would find them as funny as i did. I loved my team and am getting quite emotional now thinking that i only have a few weeks left at my job. I hand things over to Jessica, who will do an amazing job. I am sad about the people i will miss, but truly i know that where i am going and what i am doing next, is truly where God wants me. When i first told my bosses that i was leaving 6 months ago (ps a 6 month notice is too long, trust me it is way tooo hard to not check out) i was unsure if i had made the right decision and prayed for God to lead me as to what He wanted and stopped asking to go to certain places. My prayer went from" show me your will and where you want me to be" to " i don't care what your will is, just point me in the direction and i will follow no matter what". This was what i needed, because God is taking me back to San Francisco, which wasn't my first choice, but i am in it to win it. Whatever He has for me, i am so ready. I don't look for a specific purpose anymore, and no longer ask for God to open my eyes to what He has. I have learned that sometimes being led blindly in the dark is better, because than you have to trust in Him and nothing gets between what He wants for you, because you can't see anything, but you can feel Him holding your hand through it all. That is all i need for the next leg of this journey in life.........holding God's hand while He puts me in the place where He wants to use me. Please pray as I don't take any of this lightly and really don't want to miss out on anything He has for me at this point. I think I have missed quite a bit over the past couple years, as i tried to have Him put me where i wanted to go.

SATC was so wonderful! It was everything i could have wanted. I want to go see it again, that is how good the 2+ hours were! The thing about it is, that the reality of some of the scenarios, is how life is. I loved loved loved it!

2 days till SATC comes out!!!! I am so excited to go see it with my sister, best friend and my sisters best friend (whom I also consider a friend). It is going to be a great girls outing!!!!

So I have not been blogging in a long time.....partially because i am truly not a blogger and partially because i have a blog for our Kazakhstan trip that takes up time. I wish i was better at remembering witty things that happened during my day or taking pictures of the random things i see every day, but honestly my brain does not hold onto anything that long, or i like to think that my life pertains so many funny and amusing things that i can't remember them all. So I will be updating this blog with stuff from our Kazakhstan trip, which we leave on June 20, but i will also update the trip blog so that you have up to date informaiton on what is happening! Also for those who don't know, I am moving to San Francisco come August to get my masters degree from SFSU! I am really excited for the change, but will miss my job and all the great people that i have met while down in SoCal again.

I head up to Nor Cal in two days to go to Kim's wedding! I am so excited, I love both her and matt! I will post pics when I return......I will also get to see Trave and Annette (old youth pastors and friends), so I am ready to be rejuvenated by this weekend of friends and love!

I don't know what it is, but lately I have just been over everything.......I don't want to work, I don't want to go shopping, I just really want to be on a beach laying under an umbrella(if i laid in the sun i would burn) and listen to the waves as i read a book. I have no motivation to do anything, and I have a long list of things to do, both at work and in my personal life. I went for a walk last night to see if excercise would boost my motivation, but really it just made me tired and ready to get in bed early. So i will push through the next week and a half (at that time a lot of deadlines will be over). Until then I am really tired and wanting to just go live my inclination to be a gypsy........oh and last night i had a dream that me and bethany missed kim's wedding and i was so afraid how kim would react.........trust me, we won't miss it!

Yep that's right.......the girls are back! I have been watching making the band 4, which follows their making of the second record, and now it is leaked on MTV.com. I am loving on this record! It is something that just makes me move. check it out at http://www.mtv.com/music/the_leak/danity_kane/welcome_to_the_dollhouse/#. THe CD drops on March 18th....yes I did just say drop...I am so in the know. Seriously I love this band, these girls crack me up and I love the sounds on the CD. It is like a European disco, and it takes me back to my time in Italy. I am loving loving loving it!!!!!

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!

That's right we are going to Kazakhstan! June 20-July1! We are going to have a seriously fun and exciting trip, so if you want to go.....email me at elizabeth@hadassahshope.org. The trip costs $4200 and it covers everything.....so it really is a great deal! Look at the Taraz bathroom slideshow to see what project we are undertaking. If you want to donate to the trip and the project go to www.hadassahshope.org. This is my favorite part about my job and i cannot wait to go and see my friends and the kids in Kazakhstan and to see lives on the team change! Come join the team......you won't regret it!

I have been attending a church here in OC called Rock Harbor. It has been a great place and i have been learning a lot from the pastors there. One week we were talking about God's gifts that he gives us and that we need to rememeber they are gifts....not postings. IT took me back, because often i feel like i am where i am because God has not moved me, but in actuality i am not in a posting that i have to fulfill my sentence before moving on. So i began to look at what things in life i would like to change and how to change them. in actuality God gave me many gifts and i need to seek out ways to fulfill them instead of waiting for God to move me, when He is constantly putting ways to move me in my life and i ignore them, because they are not an easy first class ticket.....i need to do my part. So i am making commitments this year to start doing my part and fulfilling all my passions....this is the only life i get, so i am going to make it the best ever!

I heard from a trusted friend the other day "Bottom line....live my life...choose joy...and don't be preasured to "be called" to something for God. We are called everyday to live for Him." It hit me because, it is so true that as christians we get so wrapped up in the "calling" and often forget that the calling is to live everyday for and with Him. I get so caught up in the future and trying to figure out what God has for me and where I should be to follow what he is "calling" me to do! I don't know why we feel like we have to make everything work in life....I know that I will try until I am exhausted and then look back and realize that I probably should have just stopped what it was I was doing, because it was unnecessary, unfortunately I was taught from an early age that perseverance is key in the Bible, but so is just listening to God and taking clues when all is going horribly wrong, to take a step back and move on. So I am choosing Joy and moving on instead of being pressured into the calling of the world. God has many things for me and I don't need to pidgeon hole myself into one thing and say "this is it". I truly don't believe God made such splendor for me to be done by 26 with what he wants me to do. I am excited to move forward and pursue Him in life.

Often I get asked "what do you do" so for all of you that ask that, I am posting my pics entitled what we do! It gives you a brief glimpse at the lives of those of us who have in the past or do work at Empowering Kids or Hadassah's Hope! Enjoy.

So I admit that when it comes to life I can get pretty impatient. I try to keep my cool, but when I don't want to do something and don't want to be somewhere, I can admit that I get very pushy with God. I tend to pray God....do this and show me where I am going to be.....please just do this because if you don't I am going to leave. I know this is completely the wrong way to be and I recently realized why I do this.....get ready for the wisdom.......because I am not in contact with God. I know, it is the dumbest, simplest answer and somehow I miss it every time. I was reading Oswald the other day and he said When we are in full oneness with God we stop wondering what his purposes are and know that he will take us into them. When I read that, I realized that I was not in oneness with God. I can remember times when I am so into His word and in His presence that I don't care that I am in the hottest most miserable country. I need to get back to the place where I don't wonder what His purposes are and start enjoying all the greatness that is around me......things that He has put around me for my enjoyment and to make me happy. I have so many great, great friends and family, that I am blessed beyond belief. So here it is.....pray for me...pray that I can keep sight of His purposes and stop worrying about others around me that have a toxic personality. Pray I keep my eyes on Him and depend on Him to block the bad things that keep me from feeling His peace and love.

So today I went to work and there are raging fires in Orange County where Hadassah's Hope is. It took me 4 hours to drive a normally 1 hour commute, and by the time I got to work, i could not breath and had little visibility. The fire is about 2 miles away, but we have not been evacuated yet! So please pray that the winds continue to be in our favor and that the fire gets contained quickly. THere are so many families that have been evacuated and are having to pray their homes do not get destroyed. Pray this all gets contained and the firefighters have much strength!

So, my other friend Kim......the one not mentioned in the previous blog.....was a little upset at the absence of her name, but she has made quite a few of the pictures.......so to make all right with the world I write an ode to her......I don't know if this is an ode, and she will probably let me know, but here is my poem to her........

Oh Kimberly Audrey Blair

you felt like it wasn't fair

although you take the cake in pics

you felt my words were fixed

let me tell you, you silly goose

only you could tell the tale of the moose

so if your feeling slighted

remember I spend 8 hours a day with you and am so delighted

I call you my friend that is no lie

wether in the blog or to passers by

so next timeyou feel all crazy and scared

remember that I always cared.

 

I hope this makes right whatever is wrong. :)

Ok, so for those who know me, you know that I am way behind the times when it comes to technology.......I never had the best cell phone(in fact I tried to buy a car charger the other day and they kindly let me know that this model is not made anymore and to get a car charger for it I would need to get a new updated phone), the internet is something I used for fun and blogging was something only nerds did.....Well apparently I am the nerd now, as the cool kids have entered the age of technology. My friend Bethany has always been up on everything and I have relied on her to keep me up and informed,(oh my goodness I am an old grandma at 26) but I am making a vow now to keep this blog thing up. I know I have said it before, but I am committing to blog at least 3 times a week to let everyone know what is going on not only at Hadassah's Hope, but also in my own life. I will also put up more pics as that is what the masses are asking for. As my soon to be brother-in-law said, you have to have your finger on the pulse of America......so I am attempting by putting some funny and not so funny thoughts down each week. So please keep coming back and reading up on what is going on.....and leave a comment....I love to read those(thanks Erin). Till next time...ciao!